Story time - People Watching at its Best

With the holidays upon us, there have definitely been some great people watching opportunities. I guess the hustle and bustle takes people to a new level of interesting... Here are some stories...

Safeway's Vigilante
While visiting a local Safeway to pick up a gift card for my company's "Giving Tree," I encountered a old woman who can only described as Safeway's Vigilante (SV). It was a rather crowded lunch hour at the grocery store and aisles were packed as shopper manuevered their carts looking for their necessities. At one point, there was a cart accident which caused a lady to knock over some end-display cereal boxes. She, of course, just went about her shopping, paying no mind to the mess she made (even if accidentally). Well, Safeway's Vigilante could not believe this atrocity and abhored the woman for her ignorance of the mishap. As such, she started yelling from across the store, "Don't you realize you made a mess? Can you believe this woman, knocking things over and not picking them up."

We patrons didn't know how to react, so, naturally, we stood and stared as the old woman then chased the offender down the aisle to confront her fact-to-face. "How could you be so careless. Nobody's going to pick those up! You made the mess, you should clean it up." The careless shopper defended herself (poorly) and still ignored the situation. At this point, we thought that the old woman had made her point and would accept it. But, no, she walked away only to come roaring back..yelling more loudly and obscenely than before. She tapped me on the shoulder and said, "can you believe this?!"

At this point, my patience for SV had warn thin. I removed her hand from my shoulder politelty and said, "I will pick up the boxes." To which she countered, "You shouldn't pick up the boxes you are not THAT WOMAN'S SLAVE." But, I picked them up anyway, and suddenly the old lady shut up and let it go.

The irony of it all - SV's message was the right one. The careless shopper should have picked up the cereal she knocked over. However, SV's delivery was all wrong. Not one of us spectators could take her seriously as she ranted, yelled, and chased people down aisles and we ended up more annoyed with her than the cereal offender.

The Virgin Starbucks Whore
There are very few people in this world that have no patronized a Starbucks at one pointor another in their lives. I recently witnessed a Starbucks virgin...

She was at the front (with a line of 10 or 12 of us behind her, I might add) and was asking the cashier what to order, asking, "I don't really know what to order - so what is sweet and strong?"

The cashier proceeded to give her some recommendations (caramel macciato, white mocha, etc). She took them, pondered, and repeated, "well, is it sweet and STRONG?" He said, "It's definitely sweet and we can add some extra shots to it." He jokingly suggested 5.

She, without blinking, said, "I'll take a venti white mocha with 5 shots of espresso."

"Seriously?"

"Yes."

Yikes - I would have hated to be around the 5 shot-Starbucks-virgin-turned-espresso-whore once it all sunk in. Wow... Not to mention, her poor stomach! Ouch!

Moral of the story - She likes her coffee the way I like my men - sweet and strong... haha jk. :)

You, Your Cell and Your Workout
My gym time affords me people watching at its finest. Outfit choices mixed with awkward behavior mixed with obvious "meat market" like ambiance makes for some interesting evenings at good old 24-hour. The worst, however, is the girl that can't get off her iPhone...not even for her workout.

I really am not one to judge, so I don't mind the funny combos people put together to workout in. Hell, I'm one of those people! But this girl comes traipsing in in the tightest pants possible and a white cami (no bra) to work out in. Fine...fine...whatever. I'm probably just jealous I can't pull off said look. Anyway - her outfit doesn't shock me as much as her oddness. She first gets on the elyptical with her iPhone and makes a call. Bouncing all around chatting, barely breaking a sweat, and chatting about who knows what. Then, after like 7 minutes, she moves over to an open space where she commences her side-bend work out ("you can do side-bends or sit-ups, but please don't lose that butt!" sorry...I digress). At which point, she is still chatting (phone to ear) in cadence with her bends. Can you imagine what that must sound like to her friends?

"Yes...he....wascute....but....Iamnott....interestedin.....him... I...was...justdrunk" S he switches sides and continues. Post side-bends, cell phone girl grabs her things and leaves the gym.

All this behavior I can dismiss, because I just don't care. My only question to her would be - What was the point of even going?

My advice - Disconnect every now and then, sweetie.